Climate Report Finds Antarctica Could Support Multiple Golf Courses By 2050
A Satirical Post in The Onion: In the group’s latest effort to assess the impacts of the planet’s rising temperature, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change issued a report Thursday that concluded Antarctica could support multiple golf courses as soon as 2050. “We have every reason to believe the emergence of vast green expanses and lush rolling dunes may soon result in the development of 18-hole courses near the South Pole,” the report read in part, adding that global warming could cause the formation of fairways, sand traps, and water hazards, which would ultimately lead to par-72 courses capable of hosting charity hole-in-one contests and even PGA tour events. “Research suggests that by 2030, we may start to see putting greens and driving ranges appearing in the habitats of penguins and seals, both of which are likely to go extinct. This will be followed by invasive golf carts moving in and making it possible for the first members-only clubhouses to gain a foothold on the continent.” The report went on to note that unlike most consequences of climate change, this outcome was likely to have a disproportionately large impact on white people.
Curated by Irshad Salim -with due apology to golfers!